Linear (with a side of flowers)

The increasing illogicality of people and institutions around me have made me start to break down what is around myself and try to explain it. I am a science major. I like science. Science isn't black and white, yes or no, and so on. But at the same time, it is, while still being very gray and slightly endless. Tangential theories are a staple in the sciences, where you can be on one train of thought but then on another different one but at the same time, still on the original idea and they all make sense and come together in a nice giant pot of SCIENCE.

When people in the science start showing signs of complete illogical activity, I begin to twitch helplessly in the fetal position in the corner of my mind.

The things that scientists sometimes do when they are not involved with a science project is baffling. Story time! First, backstory. The first week of a semester is called the "add/drop" period. This is the time for people to feel out their classes and to drop some or add others without missing anything too important or having a record of dropping the class on their transcript. Normally, most sane teachers don't require important homework items or iClicker assignments (when you answer questions in class with this fancy remote that records the fact that you were there) until after the add/drop period is over. Now for the story I promised. So my one class, a science class, on the first day, the teacher drops the hint on at least five occasions that the students should read chapter two for the next class period. I have not gotten the book yet because in my experience in the past, I get all gung ho about the books, get all of the required texts, and then maybe touch one. So I waited this semester. THE ONE SEMESTER I WAS SMART ABOUT BUYING BOOKS. So the first class was on Tuesday. On Wednesday, a friend texted me saying that she talked to the teacher and the teacher emphasized again that come class on Thursday, something will happen in which those who didn't read will wish that they had read. I, of course, did not have the book. The person I was texting had told the teacher that she wasn't in a position to buy the book until the following week, in which the teacher replied "Borrow from a friend." I didn't have the book, my other friend didn't have the book, and about half the class didn't have the book. My other friend ended up buying the last copy from the Textbook Annex that Wednesday, the teacher had loaned out all 4 copies of her book, which meant that there wasn't a copy in the library. What happens on Thursday in class you ask? WE HAD A QUIZ. Let me remind you that this is the third day of the semester. THE THIRD DAY. ADD/DROP IS NOT FOR ANOTHER WEEK-ISH. Once I finally get the book in the mail that next day, Friday, I look in the book and the quiz material was from one diagram on a page that was 80% into the chapter. ILLOGICAL. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

I got into a discussion with my mother about it, and we determined that if I had gone into engineering, (that's what I would have done if animals were never involved) it would have been just as bad but for different reasons. Engineers are very linear, very black and white, yes and no, etc. They are trained to work with things that have definite answers and definite paths and rules and outlines that work relatively across the board. However, the problem arises that sometimes they become a little too rigid and sometimes cannot deviate from the rigidness that is engineering.

So on one side, you have gray blobs that sometimes have no end. On the other side, you have black and white and nothing in between. I am not one of either. I think linearly, to an extent, but I understand and embrace the concept of gray, because there are always exceptions to the rules because that is how life does. I might not agree with life half of the time, but I understand that that is how it does. So, back on topic, I think linearly, but as I have just illustrated with my words, I thing very tangentially along side my linear thinking. I think linearly with a side of flowers.

I don't know where that falls but I know that I am stuck in an illogical warzone in which I want to be parts of both but neither at the same time. Since I cannot remedy the illogic of the world, I will have to settle for the insane outbursts from my inner logic demon that tries to devour anything illogical in it's path.

A Feeling (or lack thereof)

My apartment in Massachusetts felt...different, for various reasons. Yes, it's in Massachusetts where bagels aren't real and Taylor Ham does not exist. It's an apartment, and I'm only used really living in my house with my family. Besides all of these obvious differences, there is still something odd, something strange. I never realized it until just now, while watching the second season of American Horror Story. (Only because of Zachary Quinto...)

I don't do horror, I never really liked horror. At home, I would always have this haunting feeling that there was something there in my house, around me, maybe watching me. Whenever I had some sort of interaction with a horror thing, I would corral Bjorn into my room and continuously talk to him while distracting my thoughts as much as possible from the feeling that there was something there. My mother and I believe that my Grandmother came to live with us after she died, how she would float around the studio, helping us find things when we needed to or asked. I believe that the ghosts of our pets live in the house too, but they haven't done much that I would recall.

My first dorm, Mary Lyon Hall, had a rumor of "The Ghost of Mary Lyon". I don't remember the true story of how she died, or why she haunts, but she does. The pipes would always clank and my roommate and I would always joke about how the ghost was mad at something or someone. One day my printer printed out something that I had printed 6 months prior on a different printer and I have not opened the file since the initial printing. We found that quite strange. I was introduced to Slender Man in that dorm room, and I had to stop and not continue because the feeling that there was something there, watching me was so strong there were times I was close to shaking. I avoided horror things while living in my second dorm.

Back to watching American Horror Story in my apartment. While watching, I get the creepy shivers, the feeling that maybe someone was watching me, but within minutes after turning off my computer and going off to do something, I wasn't bothered. I fell asleep without that uncomfortable feeling in my back, like I'm being watched, that something was there. I was glad, but it was still strange, to feel secure in a building. It felt as if the building isn't haunted. There isn't anything to become aware of.