Falling Blindly

Going to school? Learning? That's easy. I know ow to do that. I've been doing that all my life.  It's something I understand. I can see how it's done, but going out there? I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know what to expect. It seems as if the rest of the world around me can see what is happening, know how to do it too. I don't. I'm blind. Whenever I try to see how to do it, I go blind in a world I was so used to seeing.  In that blindness, I see darkness and all that does is instill fear into my hear. That fear cripples. All I can so is curl into a ball in a dark corner of existence and try to hide from that fear that wants to consume me.

A handful of people approach it with "You need to learn to do it on your own, to stand on your own two feet." Unfortunately, all that does is make me feel as though the darkness opens up beneath me and swallows me up into a dark pit. It makes me feel like I've asked for too much, that I've run our of time for assistance.

It's all so terrifying that it mutes me. I can cry and scream in the hole but all the sound I try to make get consumed by that darkness.

Wanting to be on my own was always a dream. To be alone, independent, strong.  But now that it's here, at my door, in my face, it's terrifying. It feels as if in the dead of night, while I was sleeping (when I could sleep) it came and turned my world upside down, stripped away all that I know and left me for dead.

I know what I need. A hand. Someone who can find me in that dark little corner and help me along, to take my hand and show me the world and what I'm supposed to do. Someone who can walk with me and show me the path in front of me when I go blind, to keep that darkness at bay, and to help me see how I am supposed to proceed.

In a world that moves forward so quickly, it feels as though there is no one who can notice the blur in the surroundings as the blind person, falling behind into the darkness and reach out a hand to help them move forward again.

Untitled

A voice shouts through all the noise and commotion of the brain. "What are you?" it cries out in anger, for no other question was granted a response. No other words reached the mind of the clatter, the never ending frenzy of noises. In an instant, everything went silent. All that was heard was a deep, booming, "You."